A Funeral For My Once Loved Youth

Finding it odd and quite morbid that she plans her funeral daily. Counting down the moments until her last. She promises you that you will never find another who loves life as much a she, but her time to go will be shortly. She craves to inspire and impact others with the life she lives and the death that will overcome her. She asks you to not cry for her in sorrow whenever it happens, but to exclaim what a glorious life she lived. This death will not be done by self but she knows that one day her life will end...sooner rather than later. This is her deepest secret. he fears that judgement will come upson her if people were to find this out. Her parents will think more into her depression and check her into a suicid clinic. She needs you to realize that she is far from suicidal though she has great hope for death to arrive.

Then I Guess I'm Addicted

Did you know you have a special way, of turning around my terrible days? You make all the bad things go away, the second that you say 'hello'. Its the way that you talk, that you laugh, that you smile. If beauty were inces, you'd go on for miles. It's the way that you make everything seem worth while. The words could not have been put more perfectly than that. He has her hooked. Do not get confused, she is not looking for anything serious. She knows this will end someday but such a feeling has never felt so nice. She is taking a chance on him and on herself. Tomorrow is when she will see him again. Nervous? Possibly. Anxious? Definately. This could be dangerous, but only for her. Her and her heart that is. She is not going to get too attatched, no. So many secrets to keep deep within herself. Nobody to tell. This is so [enter verb here].

My Heart Tied In A Knot & My Stomach In A Whirl

Feeling safe, feeling wanted, feeling confused. He has her twisted while she has him torn. The attraction and connection has them both twisted. Twisted in emotions, twisted in eachother. Holding him while he holds her. What does this mean? While he saves her from what's to come, is he saving her from herself as well? To sum up, sunsets and secrets are what happened this evening. Posible addiction? She wonders.

We'll Take The Long Roads

Thank-you, Merci. A pick me up is all she needed. She was convinced that she would not get up but they lifted her. A helping hand is all she needed. Hoping that she will stay lifted and safe for these next few days. Trembling and terrified she will wait. Yet, smiling and glowing is how she feels tonight. The love of a great friend and the brand new friend. The comfort of a caring soul who she has missed. Perhaps everything is falling slightly back into place? This night will bring some serenity to the sleep this evening. She will be able to rest her head and close her eyes as she lays herself down tonight. Though its only for just one night that she is to feel safe and sound. Tomorrow is another story.

Ticking Clocks and Dancing Girls

This could quite possibly be her bitter end. Asking you to say your goodbyes, as you beg her not to go, it is something she has to do. Something she now needs to face on her own. Appologizing for the mistake she is about to make. All of this time, she has been trying to please everybody and she is unable to give you that satisfaction anymore. Who knows what these future days have in store for her. For all she knows, she might be bluffing. But how is she to call this bluff? This is the final straw. She is sick of crying and sick of trying. Just fnish her. She has been getting knocked down so much lately and this will the the last night. She isn't strong enough to get back up. Her heart races in antisipation and fear of what is left to come. This is her pleed to God, for salvation. He is the only one who can save her now.

The Feelings Gone, I Don't Even Like You

So this is what true hearache feels like. Ouch. First love, first loss...all for what? Tears and future fears? Anger builds within her. She is ready to burst. Unaware of the direction she is face or will be facing. Where does she go from here? How could someone be so heartless? People tried to explain that to Hopeful, but she was blinded by love. She now has her in disbelief of this four letter word, 'love'. Now, erasing that from her vocabulary. What is the point of love anyway? The majority of the time it doesn't even work out. All her life she has been the witness to love and loss. Love and heartache. She has been taking notes each and every time. Her solution: do not love, and do not let others love. She is now trying to separate herself from her but it is so difficult. The feelings are still so strong. Though she has moved on, and told her that she wants nothing to do with her. Hopeful can't help her feelings. As much as she wishes she could get over her easily, she is unable to. The lyrics are her strong point. Helping her day by day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMNbaA2sRAU
The beginning of the healing process. She has accepted the fact that she is never comming back to her. She is now healing from that pain. In time, she will feel fine. Feeling free to love whomever she chooses. But for now, she will just have to wait.

Cause Without You I Don't Know What I'd Do

Change.

• The relocation of the place she calls 'Home'.
• The change of appearance.
• The change of heart

Moving day can be disasterous for some. Yet for others it could change everything. Finding funny how after one thing happens, so much could change. It just goes to show how one thing can effect so much. Mending a broken friendship is the start of it all. "I'm sorry" .. "I'm over it". She has never felt so relieved after hearing thoe words. What has only been multiple weeks has felt like an eternity. An etrnity spent without her best friend. So happy to have her back in her life. Things are starting to look upward for Hopefull. She would like to thank whoever is working their magin up their to have things work out for her.